always, ainy

I have always loved birthdays. Every year, I count down days until it and even declare the entire month of March my "birthmonth". It seems a little extra (and maybe it is); but hey, it makes me excited to get older. My 22nd birthday was a few days ago which happened to be during the first week of quarantine due to the coronavirus. This birthday was just...different. I have nothing to complain about - I got very nice gifts, my favorite food, a cake, and ended the night going on a drive with my best friend. But I couldn't fully enjoy myself knowing there was a pandemic beginning, and that many people were in the hospital as I sat there eating my cake. This post is not me writing about me being stuck at home on my 22nd birthday. It's about the anxiety spiraling inside my head scaring me out of my mind. And how things that used to excite me (like my birthday), don't as much anymore. Everything suddenly seems so unimportant besides our health and safety. If anyth...