My 22nd Birthday - Quarantine Week 1


I have always loved birthdays. Every year, I count down days until it and even declare the entire month of March my "birthmonth". It seems a little extra (and maybe it is); but hey, it makes me excited to get older. My 22nd birthday was a few days ago which happened to be during the first week of quarantine due to the coronavirus. This birthday was just...different. I have nothing to complain about - I got very nice gifts, my favorite food, a cake, and ended the night going on a drive with my best friend. But I couldn't fully enjoy myself knowing there was a pandemic beginning, and that many people were in the hospital as I sat there eating my cake.

This post is not me writing about me being stuck at home on my 22nd birthday. It's about the anxiety spiraling inside my head scaring me out of my mind. And how things that used to excite me (like my birthday), don't as much anymore. Everything suddenly seems so unimportant besides our health and safety. If anything, this entire pandemic has been a reality check for me to focus on really matters in our lives. Everyone is staying home with online classes, work from home, and restaurants/stores being closed. This has been forcing people to just stay inside and make the most out of the situation.

For me personally, the hardest part for me has been not having the freedom to hop into my car and grab coffee/food with a friend. Honestly, just typing that makes me feel kinda weird inside. The fact that me not having the freedom to drive a car to hang with friends is my biggest problem...is a problem itself. This entire week has allowed me to think about what I have in life, and what I should be thankful for. My sister tells me about the patients she treats at the hospital, and all this is a slap in my face to realize how important our health is.

I am so so so so immensely thankful that during this time I have a nice home to stay safe inside of during a time like this. I have a laptop/phone to entertain me. I am thankful for being able to FaceTime my friends to brighten my day. And I am so thankful for my family going out of their way for each other, and my mom somehow knowing what I am craving and cooking it for dinner. My eyes tear up just thinking about those who have it so much worse than me, and especially those losing their lives due to this virus. So no, I am not going to complain about being bored sitting at home when my Netflix show ends.

What has helped me throughout this whole situation has been turning to my religion. I have been able to strengthen my relationship with God and find new ways to be more spiritual. Having something to believe in and pray for makes my daily life much more meaningful, especially during hard and scary times like this. All I can do is focus on being more positive and thankful for what I have. Everything happens for a reason and I hope that my faith can guide me in the right direction.

I pray that everything gets better and that we can all be safe together.

Always,
Ainy

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